It can be exceptionally hard to deal with the fact that someone you care about only has a short time to live. It’s normal to feel at a loss since it feels like there’s no way to control the situation or make things better. However, by focusing on the present and spending time with them doing activities they love, you can make the most of your last moments together. Consider these activities to do with someone who is terminally ill.
1. Chat Like Your Usual Selves
If your loved one can still speak, chat with them. Talk about the usual things, such as family updates, the person’s interests, community events or anything else that comes to mind. You might also show them pictures or ask if they have any you could look at and discuss. Your loved one is still here, and they’re still the same person they were before their illness, so spend your time connecting as you usually would.
2. Check Off Their Bucket List
Ask your loved one if they have a bucket list. If they don’t, encourage them to create one or help them write it. Ask if there’s something they’ve always wanted to do but haven’t gotten around to yet. This could be anything from climbing a mountain to traveling somewhere they’ve never been. Don’t feel pressured to check off every item on the list — just focus on enjoying the moment and making every day count.
3. Spend Time With Animals
If your loved one has a pet, help them care for their furry friend. Being around animals can allow them to maintain a sense of responsibility and connection. It can also be a wonderful form of therapy, helping with mental health conditions like depression, anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). If your loved one doesn’t have a pet or they are in hospice, you might arrange for therapy animals to visit and provide comfort and companionship.
4. Get Creative
Art therapy is a great way to relax and release emotions. Journaling can be the perfect outlet to share thoughts, feelings and memories. Work on a creative project with your loved one, whether it’s something new or a passion they’ve always had. You could paint, draw, make music or even work on a collage together, compiling your favorite photos and talking about memories. These moments are a great opportunity to bond and create something beautiful that you can cherish forever.
5. Play Games and Socialize
If possible, get out and socialize with your loved one. Invite friends and family members and plan a fun gathering, such as a game night where you can play cards or board games. If your loved one is among the 1.5 million patients in hospice, end-of-life care experts can plan meaningful activities. They can arrange visits with loved ones, provide emotional and spiritual support, and just be there for them when they need someone to talk to.
6. Bond Over Memories
When you’re with your loved one, talk about meaningful experiences you’ve shared. Laugh over memories and bring up those little moments they may have forgotten. Your loved one will appreciate the trip down memory lane, and you can bond and connect more easily when you’re at a loss for words. If you don’t know much about their past, ask them to talk about life when they were a child, activities they loved growing up, school, work, family or other topics.
7. Read or Listen to Music Together
If the person is unable to talk, you can try fun activities like reading or listening to music together. For instance, if they enjoy a certain author or have a favorite book, read it to them. They may even appreciate a funny story — laughter can be a form of medicine, helping to soothe tension and stress and relax muscles.
Playing music and singing songs the person enjoys is also a good idea. You might not be a perfect singer, but it will make your loved one happy, and that’s all that matters.
8. Make Them Comfortable
Many people appreciate touch, especially when they aren’t feeling their best. Ask your loved one if you can hold their hand or apply moisturizer to their hands or feet. If they aren’t comfortable with touch at that moment, you might do other things to make them feel better, such as making their favorite food or wrapping them up in a cozy blanket.
While it can be extremely difficult, your loved one knows they are dying, and so do you. If they feel comfortable saying their goodbyes, you can do that. There will be sadness, but that’s perfectly OK. Tell them you love them when you have the chance, and give them plenty of hugs. Let them know you will miss them and how much they mean to you.
Cherish Your Time Together
It’s not easy to lose someone you care about, but you can still make the most of the time you have left together. Enjoy the present, laugh together and make memories doing the things they’ve always wanted to do. The most important thing is to be there for your loved one and make these moments count.