Children are experiencing the world around them for the first time, which can be overwhelming. There are times when everything just feels so joyful, while others seem so grim. Anxiety is such a complex emotion to undergo for the first time, with many people unable to grasp how to manage it. Parents should learn how to calm anxious children to ease their feelings.
Yes, kids do get anxious. Anxiety is sometimes depicted as an adult emotion that comes up when troubled by a relationship or aspect of life. However, children are not exempt from those experiences. Even at a young age, you start to make friends, go to school and interact with the world.
It’s natural for kids to be quite worrisome. About 58% of U.S. youth deal with anxiety in 2023. That doesn’t erase the fact that facing such emotions is scary, no matter what the source may be.
Learning to calm an anxious child is a delicate process, as they are emotionally sensitive during this time. Follow these guidelines to know how to get through to your kid gently.
Some children will only talk about their worries if you start first. Ask them questions to spark a conversation. Be open when talking to them. Tone and body language matter greatly, so remember to be kind while initiating.
Remember to be careful of your wording as well. Even if you have a clue of what a child is upset about, asking it outright can feel invasive. A simple “How are you feeling today?” may be more effective than “Are you sad because climate change is hurting the Earth?”
When an anxious child is speaking, don’t cut them off. It can already be challenging to verbalize their feelings. Allow your child to vent their worries and emotions. Nod along as you listen to what they have to say.
You can also ask follow-up questions. Those extra prompts can let your child contemplate how they’re feeling and communicate those concerns.
When a kid finally express all their feelings, make sure to validate and reassure them. Anxiety has a way of making a person feel unsafe. Your child needs to know you’re present and they’ll be okay.
For some people, words are enough to affirm their presence. However, confident kids may prefer to have a hug. Ask for their consent to give physical reassurance.
Children may be unsure of their anxious feelings, as some may think they are irrational or out of control. Try to give them a breakdown of why they might feel this way. For example, if they’re experiencing climate anxiety, let them know their feelings are valid. Say they’re present because they care about the environment, animals and humans in it.
Don’t jump into the explanation right away, though. Remember to give your child time to decompress before diving into emotional literacy. This space lets them develop their own insights into their emotions.
Every person has their own way of coping with their anxiety. Try to suggest ways to manage their feelings, like:
Laughter is the best medicine for many things, and it can also ease anxiety. This impact stems from how laughing creates rapid blood circulation to relieve stress. Don’t be afraid to crack some jokes and keep things light-hearted.
Be mindful of the timing, as small quips when the kids aren’t recovered can feel inconsiderate. Look for social cues that signal when they’re ready to move on from the ordeal.
It’s helpful to have a small ritual to culminate fully calming down. View it as a reward for going through the emotional experience. For example, drinking water or having a small ice cream cup is great for those moments. You can also urge them to nap to rest their body and mind from the ordeal.
Some kids may develop low-self esteem when they undergo an anxiety attack early in life. Build back their confidence by framing those emotions as a part of life. Let them know it contributes to their growth as well. Painting feelings as negative can affect how they express themselves down the line.
You should try to take note of what triggers your child to experience anxiety. You can’t control what factors they are exposed to, but being mindful of the topics brought up around them shows you do care about how they’re feeling.
It is possible to bring up those moments in the near future to help them come to terms with it. Just keep discussions age-appropriate and prioritize their psychological safety.
It’s tough to calm down an anxious child. The emotions can resurface in the future for new reasons. However, it’s worth it when they process their emotions. Be proud of their growth and cheer them on for their future progress.
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